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Lexie's Journal

Lexie struggles with her weight but is learning how to trust her body again with Am I Hungry?

In charge of chocolate
Posted on 02/07/2008 @ 1:11 PM

A marvelous thing happened today. I was having dessert with my boss and coworker - chocolate cake with ice cream. I offered my ice cream to them because ice cream is not a weakness of mind so anywhere I can cut something out that I don't care about helps me. I prefer cake. However, I want to make healthier choices and I need to watch my sugar because of my new diagnosis of diabetes, so I ate only three small bites of the piece of cake and closed the container and set it aside for another time. My co-worker, who has lost a lot of weight in the past and works very hard to maintain a healthier weight, is "addicted" to chocolate (her description) and usually eats some every day. She said the chocolate coca cola cake was "heaven" and she savored every bite. Suddenly she stopped and said, "You didn't eat yours....?" and I told her I was saving the rest for later, that I didn't want to have too much sugar. She said, "How can you stop?!" *big smile* I realized how significant this was. I had actually walked away from something I wanted to eat. It wasn't hard, it wasn't something I had to force myself to do, I wasn't depriving myself. I had just had enough for now. And I walked away. OH my GOSH that felt good!! To make that decision without arguing with myself or making deals with myself or even giving it a lot of thought beyond, "I don't want to have any more now I'll save it for later". It wasn't that I didn't want it; it tasted wonderful. It was just that I didn't have that little voice telling me I NEED IT NOW or that "I shouldn't." There was no beating myself up and no guilt or shame. No comments from any third parties telling me I shouldn't have it. It was just me, making a healthier decision as if it were habit.... I feel good about today. To learn how to balance eating for enjoyment and health, go to http://www.amihungry.com.

Michelle May M.D.

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