Lexie struggles with her weight but is learning how to trust her body again with Am I Hungry?
Posted on 02/06/2007 @ 11:32 PM
I have been thinking about "starting over" and how I've been telling myself that this is not about weight loss but about changing habits - and the scale is not the only measure of success. I believe that more and more I am recognizing a positive change that I am making and what is happening because of it.
I've stopped saying, "Oh well, I already blew it. I might as well eat this too." No more saying, "I'll start again tomorrow" because that just keeps me in the overeating cycle until I start over again.
But I thought about something new tonight. Not only does, "Starting over" give me "permission" to over-eat in the meantime but it also takes away or discounts what I've accomplished. If I try to start all over again every time I slip up....well it's like playing "mother may I" and having to go "all the way back to the beginning" and all the progress I've made so far is taken away. That's just not the way life is! If I make healthier decisions for 10 days and then I slip...and I overeat a meal....that one meal doesn't "undo" all the good I've done for my body the ten days before!
It's also impossible. I cannot start over again. I CAN get back on track again. In adult life there are no "do-overs" but there ARE "move forwards" and "live and learns".
I thought about this because a woman in my "commit to quit" class was talking about how she had gone without smoking for 10 days and then she smoked one. Then she thought, "Well I might as well finish the pack and start over tomorrow" and she did. And she came back to class feeling guilty and ashamed and said, "I'm back to day one..." But she wasn't back to day one. She had a small set back, then snowballed for awhile and then she got back on track and it was still a healthy ten days and one unhealthy evening. And maybe if she hadn't thought of it as a failure or thought of it as "I have to start over now" maybe she would have stopped at one cigarette and then it would have been 10 days of healthy choices and one unhealthy cigarette...and that's not only TRUTH but it's more encouraging than going "all the way back".
When I choose to overeat I feel guilty. Or rather, I use to feel guilty. I still do some but it's getting easier to see it for what it is. "I overate" and "That is not going to help me reach my goals." I'm more willing to look at how I can make a healthier choice the next time rather than "giving in" and "starting over."