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Lexie's Journal

Lexie struggles with her weight but is learning how to trust her body again with Am I Hungry?

I don't think about when I'm going to fill my car with gas all the time
Posted on 03/07/2008 @ 12:18 AM

Tonight was my first teleworkshop with coach Gillian. Oh my gosh, it was so amazing. I made notes about the thoughts I had during the discussion and, well, I got writer’s cramp! It was so great hearing from all of these people who have had the same/similar experiences as I have had. It was a very fun group with a lot of interaction and I can’t wait until next week. One of the first things I wrote was, “No perfection, Lexie!” because I have such a tendency to turn all this into a “diet plan” and then try to follow the rules I’ve made up for it. Later on I wrote, “RELAX”. This journey should be fun and it should be a part of my life…not all of my life. I'm always told, “You're too hard on yourself” and I always think I’m not hard enough on myself because somehow I think if I were harder on myself I would “get there.” Get where? Where am I going? What am I going to think of my journey when I get there if I spend all of my time worryng about food? That's not what life is about!!! It’s about living! Using that fuel! When I put gas in my car I don’t spend all day wondering where I’m going to get it and how much I’m going to get. When my tank is full I don’t wonder when the next time I will get gas will be - I just drive! I use the fuel to get wherever I want to go next. Although with the price of fuel these days I do think about how much I’m going to spend on it. I don’t want to park at the gas station. I want to go somewhere. This workshop showed me I would benefit from observing more and thinking about it less right now. I want to learn more about myself and my habits. I want to have a better understanding of what I want to change and why I want to change it and then figure out how. I want to work on observing WITHOUT JUDGMENT. Interested in joining Gillian's next Tele-workshop? Find out more: http://www.amihungry.com/tele-workshops.shtml

Michelle May M.D.

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Lexie's Journal

Lexie's Follow-up

A good day

Progress

ARRIVAL

Going for the gray zone

How do you measure success?

Regret leaves the door open for learning

I don't think about when I'm going to fill my car with gas all the time

Focus, focus, focus

In charge of chocolate

What I WILL do, not what I will stop doing

The pizza is calling me

Step away from perfection Lexie

Powerful reminders about eating

What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas

Do you want fries with that?

Making peace with food

Becoming instinctive

Gnawing at me

Time to eat the donuts...

SCALE= Sadistic Contraptions Aren't Leading my Emotions

The workshops rock!

Breakfast and 3 men

A lot on my plate

Think yourself thin

Small steps

I'm not alone!

Driven to distraction

It's better to try and fail than to fail to try

If I lose weight, what will I hide behind?

Battle with food

Knowing and doing are two different things

One step at a time

I won't feed a cold or a fever

No more "starting again tomorrow"

Habit vs. addiction

What am I afraid of?

It's easy when I'm at peace

Mindful eating

Let THEM eat cake

I hate how this feels

I am here

Changing old messages about weight management

I'm starting to see patterns

Chocolate is losing its power

Beating the buffet

Night time eating

Learning to listen

New year, new day

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