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Lexie's Journal

Lexie struggles with her weight but is learning how to trust her body again with Am I Hungry?

I don't think about when I'm going to fill my car with gas all the time
Posted on 03/07/2008 @ 12:18 AM

Tonight was my first teleworkshop with coach Gillian. Oh my gosh, it was so amazing. I made notes about the thoughts I had during the discussion and, well, I got writer’s cramp! It was so great hearing from all of these people who have had the same/similar experiences as I have had. It was a very fun group with a lot of interaction and I can’t wait until next week. One of the first things I wrote was, “No perfection, Lexie!” because I have such a tendency to turn all this into a “diet plan” and then try to follow the rules I’ve made up for it. Later on I wrote, “RELAX”. This journey should be fun and it should be a part of my life…not all of my life. I'm always told, “You're too hard on yourself” and I always think I’m not hard enough on myself because somehow I think if I were harder on myself I would “get there.” Get where? Where am I going? What am I going to think of my journey when I get there if I spend all of my time worryng about food? That's not what life is about!!! It’s about living! Using that fuel! When I put gas in my car I don’t spend all day wondering where I’m going to get it and how much I’m going to get. When my tank is full I don’t wonder when the next time I will get gas will be - I just drive! I use the fuel to get wherever I want to go next. Although with the price of fuel these days I do think about how much I’m going to spend on it. I don’t want to park at the gas station. I want to go somewhere. This workshop showed me I would benefit from observing more and thinking about it less right now. I want to learn more about myself and my habits. I want to have a better understanding of what I want to change and why I want to change it and then figure out how. I want to work on observing WITHOUT JUDGMENT. Interested in joining Gillian's next Tele-workshop? Find out more:

Michelle May M.D.

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Lexie's Journal

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