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Lexie's Journal

Lexie struggles with her weight but is learning how to trust her body again with Am I Hungry?

Posted on 04/23/2008 @ 11:52 AM

I've turned the corner. I can't remember the last time I felt so good. Throughout my life with each major struggle there has been that defining "aha" moment where all the smaller "ahas" seem to come together like pieces of a puzzle and everything fits....and there is peace. That moment has come with Am I Hungry? and instinctive eating. Certainly I have more to learn and always will. I will have more challenges. But from this point on I will be facing those challenges from a newer, clearer, and more honest perspective. As with all of the "defining moments" in my life I cannot pinpoint what one thing brought me here....because it wasn't one thing. But it is typical for me to *poof* finally "get it" and keep it even with other challenges. Let me tell you about my day..... I went in to work to get things ready for training then heated up a leftover biscuit with jelly for breakfast. I had only had one bite when my class began arriving. One of the students brought raspberry danish for everyone. I looked at the biscuit with jelly, looked at the danish, and into the trash went the biscuit. The danish was delightful...every morsel! It was a small piece, and plenty. On the last day of training the bank pays for the class to go out to lunch. My tellers chose cracker barrel. Right up until the time to order I had planned to get two eggs over easy with toast...and when it was my turn I ordered chicken and dumplings with green beans. Mindful of the "speed bump" and "noticing satisfaction" I enjoyed the food and the conversation. I ate the best parts first. Then I noticed I'd had enough and requested a "to go" box and put the rest of the food away. I returned to class. I felt good and re-energized. All of it has been just that easy. No arguing, no fighting urges, no guilt or shame....just peace and ACCEPTANCE. Everything has changed to a point where I cannot go back. This is now life for me. I get it! It's MINE now! I feel at peace with my body. Note from Dr. Michelle May: Thank you Lexie for sharing your journey with all of us. We can relate to many of your struggles and have been inspired by your tenacity. We look forward to your hearing about your ongoing progress!

Michelle May M.D.

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