Charlene is a journey of mindful health and self-care
Posted on 12/08/2012 @ 5:45 PM
Looking back over what I learned from chapter 1/workshop 1, I would say that noticing my thoughts about the 3 Eating Cycles was somewhat like having conversations with 3 different lovers:
OC: Don’t even think you’re going to change our relationship. You know you can’t live without me. I’ve ALWAYS been here for you. I comfort you when you’re down. I entertain you when you’re bored. I soothe you when you’re anxious. I’ve been a part of your life almost every day. We’ve had way too many good times for you to give this up.
Me: You’re right, we have had some really great times, and you have been there for me. But, like a relationship with an abusive partner, you’re hurting me. You’re affecting my health, you’re helping me to deny my true feelings and enabling me to not deal with the underlying causes. Things have to change.
RC: You’ll be back. You don’t know how to live without me. Unless I’m there to tell you what to do, you’ll get out of control. Someone has to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. I paint the rosy picture for your future and tell you step-by-step how to get there. That’s exactly what you need.
Me: It’s true, I am a bit afraid to venture out on my own without you, but this just isn’t working. Your “shoulding” and “guilting” techniques are tearing me apart. I’m not perfect, and the ups and downs of hope and disappointment are like a life-long roller coaster ride. I’m exhausted, and I just can’t do it anymore.
IC: I’m there for you. I’ll be your supportive, natural guide to the healthy and vibrant life you envision.
Me: You seem too good to be true and I’m skeptical.
IC: I’ve always been there for you. I’ve been waiting for your return.
Me: But, I don’t know if I can live without OC and RC. They’ve been a part of my life for so many years.
IC: I’m a part of you, listen to your own wisdom and you’ll find me. We’ve always been together and that will never change. No matter how many times you stray, just look for me, and I’ll be there. This is not an outlined step-by-step plan, rather it is a one-step-at-a-time plan. We can get there together, you just have to trust.
Me: Okay, we’ll see. I really do want to believe you. I'll just take it one step at a time.